lwl street mini mandala polly miamai syle

I had planned to take only Friday off, but as life has it, sometimes the smallest of minutiae can toss you on your arse and leave you soundly and resolutely locked with inertia. Words can be more powerful and deadly than the dirtiest of bombs at times. Friday, a dear friend showed me that an unknown person took my profile picture and made it their own. Filled with self-righteous indignation, I went through the loops fondly known by me as Facebook non-administration, to confront the person. The nerve, impersonating me! (I know, I sound sanctimonious, right?) On Saturday, the person messaged me back with this:

“Im sorry but I take it from flicker and is this a sin like gaining any else pic for example when we use actress pic and singers and I thought its the same????? And I look at your fb profile im not stealing any pic just liked this pic on flicker and u also posted it on fb too dont have any bad idea about me and I dont want pretend any pic as me or my avi so delete that post on fb whoch said I stole your pic if u r gr8 in sl then im much more gt8er in rl.”

Leezu Tasia times square boot, lwl street mini miamai syle

I couldn’t respond to the comments, Facebook wouldn’t let me, so I was left hanging in the wind, forming thoughts, words, and gasping for air. I was angry because I do feel putting someone, anyone’s, picture as your profile picture is misleading, but I also feel that just the fact that it IS an avatar may be worse than using a celebrity’s pic, because an avatar is one persons, the users, artistic rendition of their virtual selves, so in a vague way, it is stealing someone’s art. However,the occurrence was explained, I accept the explanation, so you would think I could move on. But, as I said, a complete lethargy overwhelmed me. Words are bombs. I am over the act of stealing the pic, but I can’t move past the last words spoken, and I have no recourse to address them; “if u r gr8 in sl then im much more gt8er in rl.” Hear that? Now THAT’s a verbal bomb. We all want to be liked, we all know there will be those who don’t like us. I’m not a Second Life avatar, I HAVE a Second Life avatar. Big Difference. I am a great and worthy person in real life, just as everyone else is.

I believe we should always try to walk with a soft tongue and an accurate measuring stick when chatting, whether in real life or a virtual life. I, myself, recently on two occasions, once inworld and recently when commenting on anothers blog, miscalculated the measure of my words and hurt the person at the other end. Inworld, since I was listening to the words following my err, I could pick up I had said something wrong, I asked what I said wrong and clarified my poor choice of words right then. I truly meant to say nothing wrong, in my haste to log, I accidentally short-handed my words to where they were construed as meaning something else entirely. On the blog, the offending term was pointed out to me and I immediately apologized. Words are bombs, they can hurt.


A take from? Yeah, there is. When you are chatting, verbally or written, before you say something think about it and word it to construe your best meaning. Also though, if you hear something and it offends/angers/upsets you, don’t stew on it, immediately say to the person, this is what I heard just then, is that what you meant to say? And always, always don’t just jump ship. Give the person a chance to explain their feelings, to find the rights words for what they meant. It’s so easy to just write people off, but what if by writing this person off, you have cut out one of the major players in the story of your life?


Hair: Miamai, Syle
Jacket: Leezu! Tasia
Dress: Ladies Who Lunch, [LWL], Street Mini
Shoos!!: Leezu!, Times Square Boot
Jewelry: Mandala

15 thoughts on “Contrition.Forgiveness.and.Moving.On.

  1. May I just say how much respect I have for you that you would take the time to share the process of a caring heart … a heart with integrity. Human emotions are so real and we all have them. Those emotions are important to work through. Too often people deal with them by attacking another person or laughing at their discomfort, not caring that they are offending. Experiences we have are about the opportunities for us to understand ourselves more than they are about someone else, even when someone says things that hurt. Great post and so well written and thank you for sharing a personal journey.

  2. I think Bliss summarized it beautifully…your words come from a genuinely kind heart. Thank you so much for sharing this experience…words can be bombs…but the can also be a soothing salve when they come from such and earnest heart. <3<3

    1. see!! Now I am a marshmallooooo! Thank you Xiu, I have tears, but they are happy ones. I think everyone’s kindness has soothed me today. =) You are all always so wonderful to me ❤

  3. You handled it the right way. And as for the last comment the person made. I believe it was made out of guilt. The person knew they were wrong. Best to always take the high road which you did.

      1. Thank you so much Adora. I had never though of that and you might be right. I assumed they were adults because her/his tag had the name of a medical school on it. Thanks for your insightful comment! 🙂

    1. caoimhelionheart January 15, 2013 at 9:21 am (Edit)

      I always feel honored when you comment on any forum I am on Topaz. You are one the woman I most admire is SL and the cross-over to RL. Thank you for your kind words!

  4. Awe Cao, you are much better than this person, please don’t let this bother you. That response clearly shows me that she’s a teenager who can’t even write. I can imagine her poking her tongue out then keep on chewing on her bubble gum. As of her nicking your pic, well take it as a compliment :)) It obviously means she loves your work 😉

  5. You are right, words can be bombs. They can be misconstrued and hurtful by accident, But they can also be a salve for an aching heart as I hope mine are to you. I respect and admire who you are behind your avatar . The Beauty I see in you surpasses anything that can be put in print and if I ever say anything that you question, then you place your self right in my IM window and tell me. And that goes for everyone because though I may type out something that is seen as uncaring or dismissive I love everyone I talk to so talk to me if I ever hurt you………Much love beautiful.

I'm done inconveniencing electrons, any thoughts? Come on, you know you have 'em, post them up here.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s