Every once in a while, when I am very introspective, I dig through the clutter of my soul, poking around in those dark dusty corners. I bring out cherished memories, either write about them or simply dust them off and tuck them lovingly back in for another day. Others I bring out and inspect, making sure they keep a little bit of the dust, because some memories are more calming with a fine layer of dust insulating them from the pain they cause us. Someone inworld has recently reminded me of one of these dusted memories, so last night I brought it out to see if it wore itself on me as it did so many years ago. I had an SL grand passion once, so very long ago. My first avatar that is. It is strangely amazing and moving when you feel a connection to a person virtually, even though the only touch is the companionship of two souls cosmically through cyberspace. We held each other closely in our dreams and shared much of our real lives with one another, well, as shared as can be virtually. If a little Cao could love, this was as close to it as she could come. The years wore away the bright shiny package but the incredible thing is we loved and accepted even those things we would normally call “warts” in another human being.
But being adults and prone to making adult decisions, there were things of his life he could not change, and of course, things of mine I was unwilling to change and we parted ways friendly. Not wishing to prolong pain, he left Second Life, I deleted my avatar and created this one. Was it real? Well, 5 years of Second Life later, this avatar is still a virgin who isolates herself from forming close relationships. Honestly though, was it real? I would have to say I love aspects of him but in virtuality there is so much that is hidden from reality. I wouldn’t even know if he would pass the spork test ( http://anchailinalainn.com/2013/04/05/basically-undateable/) and to me that’s major. So who really knows, but it’s good to take this memory out every once in a while and feel the emotions I felt so long ago, the two years added color to my personality, an aged patina of maturity it may have taken years to grow.
Take from? Well of course! And maybe not what you think. When I brought this memory out it made me think of something he did bring to me and quite often and that’s one of the secrets of all great love affairs. Loving someone doesn’t take money, or even really a whole lot of time, for that matter. You can tell when a person truly loves you when their one and only greatest wish is to do something, anything, just to put a smile on your face. When is the last time your significant other went out of the way to bring you a smile. It’s such a small gesture, don’t you deserve it?
Dress and Hat: Lelutka, Guile
Leggins: Maitreya, Couture Leggings
Hairs: Tuty’s, Bob