Scratching the Bottom of the Barrel

Scratching The Bottom of the BarrelHair Piece: *SoliDea FoliEs*, Kiki **L’Accessoires*** . Hair: Tram

I’ve just had one of “those” weekends. You know the kind, you give, and give and give and by Sunday you are thinking, where the ‘ell was MY time over the weekend? It’s really gets me to thinking; about life, love, family, friends, and me, my needs and goals. I know soon, before either relationship gets serious, I need to make a decision between Taylor and Jay, but before I do that, I need to make a decision of the familial nature. Because I don’t want to make this decision because I hear my mum whispering in my ear, “but honey, Taylor is a doctor,” or “Jay’s about your age and more likely to want children” or any of the other myriad of suggestions she throws at me during a week. I love her to bits, but I truly think since I am the only one within hollering distance, she feels if no one else will micromanage me, she needs to. I get it, I have been letting my sisters and my parents run my life and at times I feel powerless to do anything about it because of my fathers dementia. But, well that requires my help TO them, not for THEM a license to make life decisions for me.

Scratching the Bottom of the Barrel Lingerie: Gizza, Burlesque **new** . Necklace: [Mandala], Polly . Shoos: Baiastice: Nicki

So, why do I need to stop this current cycle? Because I need to regain my adult independence. Being an adult means gaining independence from your parents and setting the terms for your own life. Choosing to live my life according to my parents, friends, or relatives values over my own damages my independence and self-esteem. It also keeps me from focusing on the two new dating relationships I am in, so I can make a more grounded decision on which person I feel a potential budding love life with. I may be a bit socially awkward and shy at times, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I can’t find “the one.” Right?

Take from? If you are starting to feel like you are drowning in the needs of others, start by protecting your privacy & setting respectful boundaries with the catalyst of the feelings. You are not a small child, indentured servant or the vehicle for anyone to relive their own dreams and youth. Just because someone wished they had done something differently doesn’t mean they get to force you into those shoos, they may not fit you. Develop your skills in communication to clearly, tactfully and assertively set loving and firm boundaries with them. Because if you go through life trying not to hurt anyone’s feelings, you are guaranteed to hurt your self and as a consequence feel resentful toward the creator of the rift. Such healthy boundaries are essential, especially in cases where the ‘others’ are critical or abusive. (my parents aren’t, but I have been in that relationship once) Just remember, your life, your time, and your choices belong to you. At least that’s what I’m thinking today, who knows tomorrow when I have to face down that little five foot bundle with too much energy and a stink eye that will drop the strongest man to his knees. But you get what I’m saying.

6 thoughts on “Scratching the Bottom of the Barrel

  1. Lovely styling Cao…as usual. Wedding dress? lose it lol. My little spin on your situation. If you are thinking that you need to choose between two men and are not sure which, you are not really ready to zero in on either. This is just my opinion of course but there is no rule except maybe ones you set for yourself that says you MUST decide. From what I read in your posts, I think you should take your time to learn more about both and how they fit with you. You are right about there being the “one” at least I like to think so. As for Jay and Taylor I am sure they both have qualities that draw you to them, but if you are thinking you have to choose then to me neither is “THE ONE” at least not today. As for Moms, I know that deep down you realize you can not base your wants and needs on someone else’s wishes for you. Trust me and I know this, you are the one you need to make happy not Moms, and maybe if you do that you will make you both happy at the same time but not until your ready. The days when we choose a mate for the approval of a parent has long since past…at least here in Florida lol. You do not choose ” THE ONE ” they just are and life chooses them for us… Keep up the fab stylings, you know I love them. Live today for today and don’t stress over tomorrow because when it gets here it will be today all over again. No such thing as tomorrow cutiful girl:-)

    1. You are, of course, so right and so wise, Spirit. I didn’t mean to imply I had to choose the one. I just meant I need to get my mum out of my head and enjoy them both for who they are to ME and then if it happens, it happens. ❤ Big kiss Spirit! have a wonderful night!

      1. That is exactly right Cao, I know you love your moms to pieces but it is your life to live and enjoy in your own time and at your own pace. Give moms a squeeze when you see her and then be about your romances:-) Hey you have two I don’t currently have any lol

      2. Hey I typically cant find anyone I am so quiet, awkward and pensive. Heck Most days I think this is a “pigment” of my imagination. 😉 you hang in there my sweet beautiful friend, he’s out there. He’s just getting his ducks in a row. Either that or waiting for the price of gas to come down. I always thought it was supposed to be on a white steed. Men these days! 😀

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