Princess Lala and the Broken Pieces

Princess Lala and the Broken PiecesEvery Princess should Wear a Crown . Hair: Lelutka, Sato . Crown: *Mikan, Ai Princess Tiara . Skin: The Skinnery, Sasha . Earring: Lelutka, Jasmine .

My friend Rob Goldstein once told me he sees Second Life “as a tool for healing the soul and rejuvenating the imagination. Second Life is not a game. Second Life is a tool for creating a better reality. The trick is to stick with it, to be who you are becoming, even if you must do it by yourself.” I wonder, or more likely my mind wanders, but why do we fear being alone? Do we really believe that by finding an “other” we will be rescued from, something, but what? Ourselves? Is a solitary life less important, less appealing than a conjoined one? On a personal level, I’ve been alone for such a very long time, the silent spaces and pregnant pauses are as much a part of me as breathing air. I oft think it is perspective. Why must we think of being alone as loneliness? Can’t it just as well be called solitude? Solitude definitely has a more tranquil, joyful ring to it. No?

Princess Lala and the Broken PiecesGlasses: La Malvada Mujer, The Sun is Coming . Rings: Maubray, Aviva : Modern Couture, Rugaji . Jacket/Pants/Boots: Kungler’s, Alessandra coat/Simone slacks/Valquira boots **Avenue Fashion Week** .

Sure, we all at one time or another dreamed of living the fairy tale of one day finding our Prince Charming, being swept off our feet and living the rest of our days leisurely with a hazy glowing aura of love about us. But the reality is we should love ourselves enough to design a life that’s so amazing you don’t WANT to be rescued from it. Ideas for an amazing life are all around us, it just takes a special mind to reach up and grab them. Shouldn’t we be fascinated with ourselves? You are an amazingly, unique individual, why can’t you celebrate who you are? Take a minute and forget about “what’s wrong” with you and put positive energy to focusing on all the wonderful qualities you possess. I know, easier said than done. But on the flip side, if we don’t love ourselves, nothing much really matters. No matter what we conquer, create or experience, we’ll never able to appreciate it or ourselves or be fulfilled in the process, because we will be constantly striving to be validated in an insatiable way. So don’t think of self-love as vanity, think of it as necessity, because it truly is one.

Princess Lala and the Broken PiecesDon’t like the view? Change it!

Take from? Yep. The next time you find yourself alone and think this would be perfect if you just had someone to share it with. Know inside that self-love is what you’re actually searching for, not someone to fill a void. Sadly, we spend most of our lives believing someone else can complete us or give us that which only we can give ourselves. To be truly fulfilled in life, we have to find that love within us and give it to ourselves. No other person, amount of money, material possession or accomplishment can do it. It’s up to us. We have an opportunity to celebrate who we are for any reason, at any time and we should. As for me, I’m so proud of myself I think I’ll go have ice cream for lunch to celebrate. I might even go for the waffle cone and the little sprinkly’s too, I’m feeling pretty magnificent with myself.

11 thoughts on “Princess Lala and the Broken Pieces

  1. Your most recent note inspired me to comment. The difference between loneliness and being alone really is a vast difference. It reminds me of some teaching moments I had with my guys when they were a bit younger. Both are very opinionated, outgoing, warm fellas, and while one is studious the other is the life of the party, and they always have had a little gaggle of young people in their circles, people I really liked for the most part, which was heaven for a mom, but I digress.

    There are many personality traits that can be strength and weakness, hubris and crutch. It depends on how you use it, when you use it, and why you use it. It reflects back to your comments about alone vs. loneliness and couldn’t we assign a better meaning to the one? Yes, we can. Connotation of a word really makes a difference. One of the key strengths I see in my sons also happens to be one of their weaknesses. It’s one of the few qualities I see in both of them and makes for a good example here.

    There’s a vast difference between the word assertive and the word aggressive yet the actions surrounding both of these words would look very similar to those who are involved. An assertive person makes sure their voice is known. An assertive person knows they have something to offer the group. An assertive person knows that even when a consensus is no where close to being reached, it will get there and it will be close to whatever that assertive person wanted to accomplish. An aggressive person pushes to be heard. An aggressive person offers the group their answer and no other answer is good enough. An aggressive person knows that whatever answer they reach will in essence be “My way or the highway” and the concept of discussion just a cloak for the aggressive person to achieve their goals.

    I think as I self-actualize, and take measure of my positive traits and negative traits, I look at this as a way of measuring myself and those around me, to see if my goals are positive minded or negative, or simply selfish. Sometimes selfish isn’t a terrible choice. It will keep me warm, fed, and my basic needs being met, so while it may seem a negative, I quantify it differently. If I can see the positive, the changes in life around me as a result of the effort I invest, then I know that I’m focused on the point of view that amounts to something at the end. If other people assume that when you live alone you’re unhappy, they may try to give you their opinion until you agree with them. Gently as you can, make sure they understand that there is a difference between being alone and loneliness. If you ever feel lonely, you’ll promise to call and come visit. Until then…

    … a princess crown? Who knows. Every princess needs her crown

  2. Dang, Cao is like I am there in your post today. Not the one searching for love or a completeness from another, but the one that has found a love for myself. I am not talking about the conceited kind, but the kind that truly loves her own company. She is happy in her own skin. Strong, confident,warm, giving and has a very strong sense of personal worth. Sure it would be nice to have a special someone to share things with. To have a debate about current world affairs even, but sometimes when we reach that level and achieve a complete oneness, we lose the ability to share our lives with that special someone, or maybe we just forget how. I have been alone but not lonely in both my lives for almost two years and think maybe I forgot how to share all the wonderful things about me, that make up who me is but I am ok with that until one day I say to myself… girl get off your self loving arse and share who you are with someone because maybe both our lives would be enriched…Whatca think cutie

    1. I think life is short, you CAN choose to be alone AND share your gorgeous loved self with others at the same time. But then, honestly? I think you do without realizing it. Look how much we have learned and loved of one another these months. Life is good Spirit, our blessed lives are good.

  3. Yes Cao, Life is very good indeed. I can say that I am proud to be a part of it all. Alone or not, are we truly ever? We work with people, We learn about people in SL and some we learn to love. Some it is just an instant bonding, others grow on us over time and yet still others do both. I am already a better person for having met my lil friend Cao…Believe that. But for me, being in the Casino business for twenty years, I think actual in the flesh people when not at work are better in small doses lol. But someday I will find a special someone to share the very quiet me with:-) In the meantime I have people like you and my family, though very far away yet as close as my keyboard or phone to keep me a little grounded to.

  4. I think that both being along and finding Prince or Princess Charming has its moments. Both are necessary for growth. We can only hope to become an interesting, positive and wonderful force in our beloved´s life and this can only be achieved when we feel comfortable in our own skins. As for the Fashion side of the article : You made me like a coat I thought I did not like and your writing keeps getting better an better.
    How cool is that?!!!!!

  5. The lover may sweep you off your feet, then use you and throw you away when you no longer interest him. In reality, only the parents’ affections are true and to an extent the love of your friends. The rest are probably selfish and need-based. Of course, there may be exceptions. Anyway, it is better that we learn to love ourselves

  6. Man your posts always speak to me. My life is fairly solitary as I work mostly at night and I work from home (I bake pastries) |Second Life has actually helped me be more outgoing in real life and I really enjoy exploring the creativity of other Slers It is more than a game it really does connect people from all over the world. It does allow you to explore yourself as well because when you are in a world where you can create and be what you want it allows you take a look at yourself.

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