Saying Goodbye


I hope to be halfway back on Friday, but won’t leave a moment to chance. Perhaps it’s the fear of the unknown within me, after all, I’ve never had surgery before and as a creative I have moments of passionate drama steeped so deeply within me. (whether they are warranted of not) Please forgive me that I have to express them somehow. There are, after all, only two outcomes to this, only one with second chances. You all know what you mean to me and how you have moved me, how you gave a Lil Cao a moments respite in an overwhelmingly big world. If I could have done it over from the beginning, I wouldn’t haven’t changed a single solitary moment. You are all mad crazy brilliant and I adore you all! How lucky I am to have known not one someone, but so many someones who are so hard to say goodbye to. Hopefully it’s an until we meet again, but if Fate has other plans for me, know you are loved!

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart) ~ e.e.cummings


34 thoughts on “Saying Goodbye

  1. I will be keeping you and the surgeons who will be performing the surgery on you in my pagan prayers. But I am sure all will be fine and you will back soon for me to stalk. Love you more then pink glitter frosted cupcakes! ❤

  2. Sending you lots of hugs, warm thoughts, blessings and above all heartfelt prayers that all will be well.

  3. I have a candle lit and whispered my prayers to the great spirit. I will continue to whisper them until your return…and you will return. Know you are in my thoughts, hugs ❤

  4. Any kind of surgery is scary, when I was 12 I had back surgery I thought I was gonna be put to sleep and never wake up, I even broke up with my “boy friend” at the time so he wouldnt have to have a dead girl friend ( silly little girl)… well I lived but the road to recovery after was long …. Dear Cao you will be very missed while you are away healing yourself however do not think of us and rush back take all the time you need to get better from whatever is wrong so that you can come back. I prey that everything goes very well for you. I am now kicking myself for not trying harder to be a better , closer friend … I am not good at friendships. Take care, get better. Just so you know I think you are an outstanding person and have alot of rare qualities.

  5. Hold the Phone, Stop the presses. I know you are dating a proctologist but surgery Cao? Didn’t we talk about moving too fast. OK all kidding aside , I will miss you and your warm ray of sunshine you add to my world on a daily basis, but you heal quick and get right after whatever surgery you are having and I will say a few blessings, maybe even burn a candle for you. Much love Dollface. See you when you get back ❤

  6. You were such a huge support for me when I was dealing with our 2 friends battle with cancer and although the battle is still far from over things are going wonderful!! I hope I can be half the support to you that you were for me. I have VERY strong feelings all will go well with you but to be extra safe will be sending a ton of prayer, lighting healing candles and sending you all the love I have. Hugs, be strong and have faith you will win the battle as well!! ❤ Love Os ❤

  7. A message from our Cao: “Can you please post on FB and say I really truly thank everyone for all of their kind words, thoughts and prayers and I felt spoiled by all the love. You all pulled me through. :))”

  8. Ok, this is not FB but I know you all cherrish Cao and wish her all the best, and wanted to know she was out of surgery.

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