The Bull Stops Here.. part 2

The Bull Stops Here, Part 2

I want to speak to Second Life blogger’s and designer’s today, not just my friends. Recently I agreed to blog an event, I wondered at my decision since it wasn’t even a charitable event, and I was accepted to participate. For the record, I have about 50,000 items in my inventory and that includes a couple of houses, landscapes, the furnishings, textures, model poses, blog poses, textures and all the other detritus I’ve picked up in 5+ years in Second Life. So very little by most model’s standards. Just as I have always said, I buy most of the items I blog, do not request to join blogger’s groups, and NEVER take an item I am not going to blog, or if I do take an item and don’t blog it, I delete it immediately. To me this is the only ethical thing I can do. As the event was gearing up, I saw several really rude group notices to designers and bloggers, but mostly to designers, the last of which was something to the effect of “designers, we told you you would be required to make a male item and a female item, if you do not have your items ready on time we are returning your items and keeping the Lindens you paid to be in the event. Read the rules people.” Extremely appalled by the group notice, I quickly contacted my little dragon, Draakje Dailey and discussed it with her. Neither of us would ever treat the people who paid to be a part of an event we were managing with such disrespect, I was leaning towards dropping out, but in the end felt I’d committed.

When it came time to blog, I was just recovering from surgery and feeling pretty crummy. I blogged eleven outfits, but I blogged them in three blogs instead of one each day. Probably not my best choice, but at the time I felt it was my only choice, not knowing whether I would feel up to blogging each day, since I blogged very little in the two weeks prior. But in all ways it was eleven outfits from eleven plus different designers when you throw in hair, skin and shoos. (yes I even blogged a skin which for me is rare). Yesterday, after running around all day helping my mom and taking care of my fathers funeral arrangements, exhausted and depressed, I received a snarky offliner stating I needed to provide all the links for this event that I blogged by December 9th or I would never work with this event company again. I IM’d through email that I would provide the links (which implies I did, in fact blog) but it would probably be after the 9th since my father just died the day before, but the point was moot since I wouldn’t be working with them again since I had retired December 1st and quite frankly her comments were a tad harsh and would make me not work with her again anyway. No chit, this was the answer “Coming at me like that when I am giving your the opportunity to send me your links will not fly.” uh, huh? Now, most of you know me well, and know, it takes a LOT to get me angry, a LOT, I mean a TONNN.. Honestly, does this sound like a person who should be in charge of anything or anyone? Does this even sound like an adult speaking to a driver’s license toting certified above the age of thirty adult, because last I checked I sure am. ‘ell, I wouldn’t even talk to a naughty child, mouthy teenager, or my dog like this. But most of all, does this sound like the legitimate conversation that should be taking place about a Second Life, not first life, “hobby?” If the person doubted I blogged, wouldn’t it be prudent to check my blog on the specified dates instead of attacking the blogger? I mean, by golly, I do believe my blog is posted for all the world to see, look at my posts on the days of the beginning of the event. Or better yet, how about don’t accept the blogger the next time IF they apply. Gosh, looky der, I could have just solved the problem of world peace. Don’t judge, check your facts before you open you mouth and look foolish. She could have said nothing a’tall and I wouldn’t have been back but if I had come back she could have just said,”um, no. We are looking for new bloggers this round.” World Peace solved! Most of all, don’t ever tell a person who, other than during my surgery recovery has blogged almost every single day for two and a half years that her “attitude is part of the reason bloggers have a bad name.” Oh yeah, she did go there. yep. Amazing. A cyber-bully. (kicks own arse for not backing out). Oh wait that would be self-bullying. Take back, take back, take back.

Imagine Theres No Heaven

The take from? Yes and it’s a two parter. Will this pass my “will it matter in two years from now” test? Nope, not even in the slightest, I won’t care in about, well exactly thirty minutes when this is posted. The first take from is for bloggers, if you get involved in an event and it just doesn’t feel right? Back out, if possible, before it starts, (which I could have done) and don’t feel guilty about it. Just apologize and back out because your instincts are probably right. Just because you are getting “free” items, even though you technically work your arse off for the free items, you are being paid for a service with clothes, but you are working all the same, so they are not entitled to bully or harass you in any way. Your name is all you have in the world, and if you associate it with people who don’t respect and play nice with other people, especially nice to the people who are paying them for a service (designers), your name just might get a little muddy in the process. The second part, to designers, always remember, cash is king. If you are paying someone for a service, to produce an event, without your cash their would be no event and as such you are entitled to the utmost respect because you do not work for the event company, THEY work for YOU. Big, not even a hint of subtle, difference. They should be bending over backwards to help YOU, not belittling you by insinuating you are too dumb to read instructions and threatening to keep your money. These agency’s and event companies should always consider that their note cards in English may not translate well to the language you speak and should go out of their way to help you understand the rules. Period. They work for you and should be willing to ensure you have the most pleasant experience possible. However, if you do find yourself embroiled with one of these types of companies, you too may walk away. You may be out a few Lindens, but how far do you think this type of company will go, how successful can they possibly be, when they treat clients and their workers like second class servants? Just a thought.

44 thoughts on “The Bull Stops Here.. part 2

  1. The way this person treated not only you, but also the designers in this event is downright disgusting. I, for one, would never ever work with her. Thinking that you are probably not the only one who she bashed around in this manner, I wonder if there will be a sequal to this event next year. I seriously doubt it! Good for you that you don’t give her and her sorry excuse for a character a second thought, you have enough on your plate as it is.

    ❤ more then pink sparkly frosting on cupcakes!

    1. That unprofessional attitude she had. And with you Cao? I never saw you angry first time. The name of the stuffie carries the attitudes of the owner. Relax = ***

  2. i can only imaginne which event you are talking about. BUt i know there is an event going on, where i was kicked AS DESIGNER because i cant set up because f lack of time. i’ve paid 3,5 k to participate and just got kicked as i called the wanne-be model and manager nasty for her behaviour. i didnt see any linden after the kick, so she stolen my lindens. but she seems to be known for stealing. she has stolen 49 k from her former partner to pay her rl billings. I wont participate in any new events anymore. i really give a F*** at greedy wanna-be organizers. that was a lessons for me. ( I am talking about the J&A )

    1. I don’t think I would move from events all together Noemi, some are quite well run and advantageous to designers. Just always remember, it’s your money. Ask questions. Ask what they have done in the past, ask other designers about the events they have done in the past. It’s better to be seen as pushy and keep your money, than to be nice and have them just up and take it. ❤ Thank you so much for your comments. 🙂

  3. Im sorry u had to meet such a character especially at a time like this. 😦 some ppl use SL to abuse other ppl it seems. She was 1 of them but u never have to meet her again. Her problem is she has to see herself in the mirror everyday the rest of her life. Tough sh-t 😉

  4. I feel you Cao. This takes all the fun out of blogging. It is a hobby for us. We (bloggers) do not get paid for this. We spend more Ls on accessorizing, poses, and spend lots of time to edit photos. People don’t know what you have going on in RL and they are so quick to judge. You have a lot of guts to stay committed to the event.

    1. Totally agree with you Gig1. I even mentioned to her that bloggers do a service to HER, that she isn’t just doing us a favor because blogging IS work. But well, some minds are like concrete, all mixed up and permenately set. As to the not knowing what was going on in RL? uhm sadly she did. I mentioned in the first comment, email to IM, that the links might be late bc my father had just died the day before. Then when I took the time to log in and post the links to her I wrote in the NC, you do realize I said my father just D.I.E.D. right? whew, amazing really. Can you imagine if someone said that to you to not even say, sorry for your loss but I need the dam links? She apparently has no family she would miss (or vice versa). Thanks Gig ❤

  5. I know the event you are talking about. I applied to blog for it and I wasn’t selected, although I was a bit hesitant when I read the rule stating you HAD to blog the sponsor’s items. I am now grateful that I wasn’t. Who is this cow who dared bully MY lil Cao?? What part of “I’m planning my father’s funeral” doesn’t she get??? Not only is she a bully but she is insensitive and in this case, I think she should be named and shamed so that no one should have to deal with this sort of treatment again!

    The bloggers that I know – you, Berry, Alexa, Wendz, PB, Rwah, to name a few – are what I consider to be honest bloggers. I wasn’t even aware that bloggers had “a bad name” because of the ones I look up to. Yes, I am sure that there are some people out there who either have a blog or claim to be bloggers just to “get free stuff.” I wasn’t raised that way; if I agree to do something, I do it right. And if a designer or event organiser doesn’t bother to check out the blogger’s work prior to accepting them, then they have to wear part of the blame. Laziness is never an excuse, even if you are running a big event. If you don’t have time to do your homework then hire staff to do it for you. The designers do get a lot of publicity from the blogging community and events are a great way to get their brand recognised. But they, too, are counting on the organisers to do their job – not just dictate terms and then bully everyone into submission.

    This has made me very angry – Cao, you are one of the most principled people I know. You took this to heart, even though your own was hurting, not just when this exchange took place but when you were blogging for the event. I’m glad you are putting this behind you but I am also glad you got this off your chest.

    Now…take a deep breath, close your eyes and feel the love of the people who know and truly appreciate what a beautiful person you are ♥

    1. … I know I am loved when I got both my Little Dragon and my Peep to type up some Word and Peace!:D You guys are all so amazing! There are no adjectives in the world to explain how I feel about all of you, even the peeking in for just a sec readers! You all mean THE world! I really didn’t write this up for attention, I did write it up because I was angry as ‘ell, but also I wanted to remind these agency’s and group planners that at the end of the day, you are not doing the designers or bloggers a “favor.” You are being PAID, the only one who is, in fact. So straighten up! It’s already becoming harder and harder to get designer’s involved because frankly, they are tired of the BS, you are in the service industry, so serve. Don’t get on your high horse and demand. Not, you of course Peep! I’ll serve you dinner and I’ll even loan you a spork! ❤ Lots of love to YOU because you are looking at your reflection in my eyes when you see a beautiful person. xoxo

      1. I’m fully aware you weren’t writing this for attention…rather, to DRAW attention to an issue that means a lot to you. I know you are one of the hardest-working, committed and ethical bloggers in SL. Your word and peace means so much because of the respect you have earned.

        Hugs you and looks you right back in the eye ❤

      2. I know right????? It only cost me 400and56million lindens before I won it!!! 😉 Dradra has an owly, haxy has a panda, we need one for you too. I wonder if it has a birdy? 😀

      3. lol I have the Rare Octopi pair and some others I don’t remember right now. The only birdy I see is the Rare owls, but they have….wait for it….

        A SLOTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        *sighs and dusts off my few remaining coins to go try for it*


      4. lol I may not be a sloth, but I sure am BROKE! I’m embarrassed to say how much I just spent trying to get that silly sloth hat! I have Every. Single. Item. Multiples of each – Rares included! Except for my one lonely sloth hat lmaooo

        I must send you the Cow Lady Secret, if you don’t have it…I have FIVE!

        OMG I just know these creators are going to have a wonderful Chrstmas. Me, I’ll be doing my impression of Tiny Tim !

  6. I am po’d and I don’t even know what is going on. I don’t know the event or the person because ..hello I apparently live in a bubble. What I do know is that if my Lil Cao get’s her hackles up that high then someone is going to get an earful. I follow a lot of blogs, but this is the only one that I make a point to search out. I am a blogger as well, ok so been off during MVW and I also have a full time rl job, but when MVW is over I will get back to it. While I have been busy with that I have not taken a single bloggers pack from the designers I blog for, I mean why would I’m not going to blog it. But to demand anything of anyone is wrong. We do not respond well to it. Everything you posted Cao I agree with and there is no reason to touch on that. I got your back though and even though mad, it is time to put your glow back on, the person you spoke of will find out what happens when you treat others the way she has. Let her wallow in her aloneness when she has alienated whomever is left to be alienated because there won’t be many if she continues on the same path. Cao you are dear to my heart and I tell you as often as possible and will keep telling it and I am proud of you for standing up so strongly….I always am ❤

    1. I cant tell you enough Spirit, you say you hunt for my blog, well I hunt for your comment. Our friendship is spelt out here every time we respond back and forth. In you I find pieces of me like we are kindreds. You know the funniest part about it? A few minutes ago I checked HER blog. . And she has 3 posts for the event (they are labeled !/#■ 1, 2, & 3. With at the MOST 2 pictures. Lawl I hope she never becomes anyones RL boss, their life will be a living ‘Ell. Lol xoxo love you girlie-cue. ♡

  7. Dear hun,
    as you already know i am very far from the most SL things because RL. First of all i want to hug you sending you my symphaty and my thoughts for your loss.
    I am so sorry i didn’t read any post concerning this. I want also to say i am really bored by unkind and bully persons and what let me speachless is that if they can be that mean in a virtual world they sure are the same in their reality.
    I am close to you and i send you all my love


    1. Thank you Aunty Mims, and you are one of the ones who taught to always put RL first because that is where the living is. I was so fortunate to have you as a teacher but I am more blessed that you are such a dear friend and my Aunty. Love you so much and hope you are doing well. ❤

  8. I don’t even know what to say…. wow.

    First of all I’m so sorry for your loss dear Cao. ❤

    The others have said it all. Why would people act like that is beyond me, I never understood. I wish people who are like her around her so they can all make each other happy.

    Love you Cao!

  9. /me preps her venomous nerf gun bullets…

    1. You are a trooper, a warrior and a voice for all of us out here and right on, for speaking your mind Cao!
    2. Wholeheartedly agree with you, in that events are there to ‘support’ designers and organizers ought to be dang grateful that content creators choose to support events.
    3. Thank you for always, always.. keeping it real with us.

    /me hugs you close.. ( i have extra ammo btw)

  10. I have to send you much love and good vibes during such a difficult time. I cant even believe some one would be so mean to you Cao you are definite one of the most gracious and kind people I have met in second life not mention how you encourage me with my own blogging and my modelling. I am always so confused by behaviour like that but all you can do is shake your head and leave them to their negativity.

  11. My condolence on your father’s passing, Cao. 😦 (HUGS)

    And the behaviour of that organizer is so despicable. I was warned against working with them by others who have had the unfortunate opportunity of that experience, and I’m glad I heeded the advice.

    They were bad enough to make you write a post like this, but even angry you still manage to be controlled, posh and poised. Damn! XD Cao is not amused. They better watch out. 😛

  12. Awww Auntie Cao.. i’m so incredibly sorry you have to put up with a bish like this during this time.. it’s bad in the best of times.. let alone while you are going through something like this.. I love you and I’m thinking of you often.. *hugs*

    1. ❤ thank you CC, your kindness means to world to me. I saw you bought me a gift and as soon as I can, I will run over to Collabor and pick it up. Thank you and love you little one. ❤ xo

  13. I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I am also sorry to hear about the way you were treated. There seems to be a tremendous amount of bullying going on in SL at the moment and you are not alone in being victimized after more than ample demonstration of your integrity and your talent. There never seems to be an erring on the side of caution, just an all or nothing. I would like to remind people that SL is an ever evolving living breathing entity where one moment you are on top, Lord of all you see, and the next you are nothing and those you trampled have exchanged places with you. Not only is it reprehensible for adults to treat one another this way, it is a dangerous position to take in this virtual world of ours. I hope you know how admired and loved you are independent of what any one designer or organization says about you and that there are many of us who make up our own minds and you are forever safe with us :). (bliss windlow)

    1. woooooow those are hefty words coming from a Bliss Windlow. I am a card toting member of your fan club! ❤ thank you soooooOOOooooo much! and thanks for the kind thoughts on my father too. :))

  14. I am so tired of rudeness, and lack of common sense, not sure how finesse and good manners fall down the dark vortex of ego in some people to the point of being so selfish that they are only concerned with their own interest, to the total exclusion of the interests of others. I am sorry that during a very sad time in your real/personal life you where treated poorly. I know that people like this and their actions really do not matter, for more than a few minutes, and in fact in the long run, they end up more impacted than their target, but still I am glad you took the time to speak up and offer what I think is good “heed advice, behave you fools!”
    Cao, on the loss of your father I cannot offer you healing words, time and the good seeds your father planted will take care of that, keep on listening to the words in your heart and in your head and bring them on..some of us do read, even if we comment-seldom.

    1. Alala, you truly are a jewell, just as your name implies. I can’t tell you how much this meant to me, your kind words made me cry with happiness. Thank you so much for being a part of my life, I truly mean that! I hope you have a gorgeous, peaceful and prosperous New Year. ❤ ~Cao

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