Tolerating Success

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success! ~Doug Larson

Tolerating SuccessHat and Sash: Remarkable Oblivion, Paragon . Shoos: Gizza, Betty *NEW* .

I have found in Second Life, like real life, some friends just really aren’t happy when the people around them are successful at something. Have you ever felt this way? Perhaps you experienced something positive in your life, lost weight, fell in love, final got to model in a magazine. You’re so happy you want to share it but when you tell your friend they down it play and don’t share in your enthusiasm. Yeah, of course, it’s jealousy and nothing has a more corrosive effect on a friendship than the green eyed monster. Some people say you know who your real friends are when you are in need, but I reckon you really find out when you’re experiencing success. And those people who try and keep you small, are they really a friend?

Tolerating SuccessDress: Sugar, Muse mini-dress . Jacket: Sugar, Mistress Jacket .

I mean, you know them, they are those passive aggressive card carrying friends who can’t be expected to like things about themselves, much less like the successes of a friend. When you’re life starts to shine brightly they spend less and less time with you or if they are still there they give you backhanded compliments finding reason’s for your success other than your ability. “You landed that shoot because of who you know” type compliments or downgrade what you’ve done by insinuating it’s not as great as it really is. Jealous friends also like to veil comments of criticism poking little jabs at you or talking about you behind your back. I like to call them little ouchies because you both may be laughing at your expense, but inside you have this hollow feeling that is taking away from the incredible achievement you earned. Because the crux of the matter is you DID earn it and if your friend isn’t saying “go for it” they may not be a friend a’tall.

ro3Hands: SLink . Nails: NailedIt!, Fashion Art . Everything from Botticeli to Picasso only at Fashion Art May 9th to May 31st . .

The take from? It’s about letting go. You always want to take your friends with you and as much as you want to help your friend find happiness and release from their jealousy, that is something only they can do themselves. It is their choice. So why let yourself be diminished and drained by this toxic person? All you can truly do is forgive them for how they have hurt you and let them go. The space you’ll create in your life will open you up to build the nourishing kinds of relationships you need. Your journey will become much easier and you’ll be happier by surrounding yourself with positively oriented people who are just as committed to growth and transformation as you are. And what’s not to like about allowing yourself to be happy? What a novel concept, we have to allow ourselves to be happy.

13 thoughts on “Tolerating Success

  1. One thing that hurt more than almost anything anyone has said to me in this journey of weaving in and out of fashion business from many angles, “She’s just a blogger.” This was said about me, while I was present. The truth? I am a blogger. In essence she was correct. But I pour my heart into what I do. That tiny word, “JUST” can be used to cut someone down in size, and take a truth and twist it til it hurts. The person who said this continues to be in and out of my journey and I respectfully respond to her, and carry on with my passion. I’m just a blogger who loves what I do, and it makes me happy. I don’t think the person who said that comment has yet found happiness but I honestly deeply truly hope she does.

  2. I talk about you behind your back all the time, hell almost daily….I say you know that lil Cao, well she is just the cutest damn thing ever.I just want to squeeeeeeze her and for some that don’t take the time to read your blog…I read it to them lol

  3. It took me years to learn to let go of the toxic people in my life who purported to be my friends. Did it hurt to let go? You betcha…for about 10 minutes. That’s about how long it took to appreciate the weight lifted off my shoulders at no longer worrying that when I turned my back I would feel a knife planted there.

    Or maybe the knife was still there – I just didn’t feel it any longer ❤

  4. I love this post. Not only because I adore the outfit but because of the text. I remember how shy borderline scared I was at first to even ‘like’ your posts. You this woman with style oozing out of her fingertips and creating looks and pictures that often made me stare at my own avi and just laugh in dispair. I was never jealous but only learned from you.. and when I saw that Deadwool outfit that was the start of me trying things.. Guided by you and Peep, your blogs mainly and very carefully trying on things.. Long story short.. You and Peep are amongst a very few who are simply kind, nice, warm, friendly people and I am very happy I have met you both!! And no Cao, I wont run away next time… Promisse! ❤

    1. omgosh Rwah, “oozing style?” I am such a dorkface! lol I am so happy you are here, don’t you ever leave or I will have to chase you with my spork too! I just wonder about the semantics of a donkey, a peep and a cow… We are quite the funny farm. O.o But we do learn so much from one another, your photography is excellent!

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