Tolerating Success

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success! ~Doug Larson

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I have found in Second Life, like real life, some friends just really aren’t happy when the people around them are successful at something. Have you ever felt this way? Perhaps you experienced something positive in your life, lost weight, fell in love, final got to model in a magazine. You’re so happy you want to share it but when you tell your friend they down it play and don’t share in your enthusiasm. Yeah, of course, it’s jealousy and nothing has a more corrosive effect on a friendship than the green eyed monster. Some people say you know who your real friends are when you are in need, but I reckon you really find out when you’re experiencing success. And those people who try and keep you small, are they really a friend?

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I mean, you know them, they are those passive aggressive card carrying friends who can’t be expected to like things about themselves, much less like the successes of a friend. When you’re life starts to shine brightly they spend less and less time with you or if they are still there they give you backhanded compliments finding reason’s for your success other than your ability. “You landed that shoot because of who you know” type compliments or downgrade what you’ve done by insinuating it’s not as great as it really is. Jealous friends also like to veil comments of criticism poking little jabs at you or talking about you behind your back. I like to call them little ouchies because you both may be laughing at your expense, but inside you have this hollow feeling that is taking away from the incredible achievement you earned. Because the crux of the matter is you DID earn it and if your friend isn’t saying “go for it” they may not be a friend a’tall.

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The take from? It’s about letting go. You always want to take your friends with you and as much as you want to help your friend find happiness and release from their jealousy, that is something only they can do themselves. It is their choice. So why let yourself be diminished and drained by this toxic person? All you can truly do is forgive them for how they have hurt you and let them go. The space you’ll create in your life will open you up to build the nourishing kinds of relationships you need. Your journey will become much easier and you’ll be happier by surrounding yourself with positively oriented people who are just as committed to growth and transformation as you are. And what’s not to like about allowing yourself to be happy? What a novel concept, we have to allow ourselves to be happy.