If I Could Only Unknow What I Know

“My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.”~ Tim Allen

I know you think you know all there is to know about my mum, but that’s seldom the case. She is a lot more than a 5 foot nothing bridal magazine toting, husband fishing for her daughter bundle of energy. And yeah, I know she means well, but heck, I’ve had to put up with a lot through the years too. She isn’t the only one holding the short end of the stick in familial relationships. Yeah, my life with her hasn’t been such a riot either. I get it, I’m a gawky, relationshiply challenged, too quiet, always watching daughter, but hey, she has a few adjectives before the word mom too. Not that I would write them here, should she decide to be one of my 5 followers today. Seriously! We have our moments.. I mean, I’m sure those close to me know at times I can have a bit of a sarcastic  acerbic wit, but seriously, she takes the cake. Last week she dragged me by an ear made an appointment for me at my doctors office for some leg pain I’ve been having. This doctor is part of a sort of one-stop entire family type practice and while waiting for my turn to see my doctor, a lady walks out of the office across the waiting room. As she passed, my mom in her not so quiet whisper, yells “That woman just came out of the pediatrician’s office without a child, and was carrying a book, ‘What To Expect When You’re Expecting’. Was she shopping? Or is she a little early for her appointment…” Mortified, I huddled under my chair.

She’s always been a little left of center. I suppose it’s from raising four children while her doctor husband worked all the time.  It didn’t help that my “bother” was a wild one. But seriously, me, being the youngest was tough. My oldest sister was ten years older than me and she and my two states away sister were gone to college by the time I was nine. I grew up in this huge house and as each child left it got quieter and bigger and the chore’s list got longer and longer. I sware one time, I am pretty sure I over heard my mother telling a friend on the phone “I turned my uterus into a housing development for all these kids.  I think the only thing that makes it worth the pain!  (of having kids) is they become your slaves!” The worst part is the older I got, I tended to notice the small things, you know, the little interior design changes here and there. You come home one day and your sister’s stuff  and a second hand bunk bed is now in your room and her  old room is the new office. Or all those cherished pictures of us growing up are replaced by pictures of the dog. A lot of pictures. Of the dog. Kid you not, there was even a professional picture of my mum and dad.. holding the dog.

Now though, the physics of the relationship have changed. Again. And it’s like I’m the mom and she’s the child. I’ve actually lately nicknamed her Elf.  I can’t help it, she hides candy everywhere! Over the weekend I was fixing a few things on her computer. What this typically means is I sit in front of it, pretend I am doing something worthy of an IT giant like myself, (you know, wiggle a few cords) and after much ado, click the “on” button and say, “okay, it’s fixed now.” While impressively dawdling, bored, I opened her nightstand and inside were cookies, mini-candy bars and 3 different kinds of breakfast bars.  Luckily before I opened my mouth I saw this months edition of Bridal magazine with pages ear-notched for further study. Yeah, you can bet I closed it quickly and left the room.  With a half dozen mini Snickers, of course. In my “old age” I’ve come to realize, sometimes parenting is all about picking your battles and this isn’t one I was ready to face. Just a little lighter reading today. I’m sure I couldn’t possibly have made it up. Much. Have a low gravity hump day.

Outfit:

Hair: D!va, Juno **Collabor88**

Jewelry: [Mandala], Billionaire & Odyssey Zeus **Collabor88**

Shirt: Ison, Silk Camisole

Skirt: Ricielli, High Waist skirt

Handbag: H.M.A.E.M., Nora  **La Metallique**

Shoos (In order of appearance)

Maitreya: Antheia  **Collabor**

Elysium, Mei Wedge **La Metallique**

22769, Octopus **La Metallique**

Chair: Art Dummy, Drafting Chair

Poses: Di’s Opera and Katinks