Women need real moments of solitude and self-reflection to balance out how much of ourselves we give away. ~Barbara de Angelis
In life, we are all different in how we face our journey. Some run unabashedly forward, fearing nothing in their journey to the end. Others of us tread softly, slowly feeling each delicate step from the soles of our feet to the soul within us. I liken it to two best friends walking together by the lake, one shimmies out of her clothes, throws them pell mell and jumps with a giant cannon ball into the still, gracefully shimmering surface. The other softer friend, neatly folds her clothes, lays them on a steadfast rock and dips first just a toe into the chill of the water as if testing, tasting life in small samples before giving a moment of her self to it. Neither life path is in err and both give the greatest satisfaction to its participants, the crux of the difference is in those moments that life throws you a little left of center in the course you had chosen to navigate. Do we immediately try to correct ourselves to force the course back to center? Or do we reacclimatize, navigating with the turbulence to wait and see if we are given a new course to follow?
Women live a life of giving. We care for those about us, elderly mothers, best friends, beaus, brothers and sisters. If there is such a thing as a nurturing gene, surely women seem to carry 90.% of it? I am not saying men do not nurture, of course they do! I’ve just seen so many women spent, beat down and bone deep tired from the worry, the loving servitude of nurturing those they care for. Heck, with my loony family sometimes I feel like I never get air. The thing is, whether you are a “grab life by the reigns and ride” female or a “tread lightly” female, it behooves you to unselfishly, without guilt, carve small moments of solitude for your own growth and self-reflection. If you do not, you become toxic and the people you are nurturing die from this toxicity. Giving of yourself without taking for yourself not only changes the love groups dynamics, it also keeps those around you from discovering their own purpose for being, their own self-worth. And by “doing everything” for everyone, you rob yourself of your life’s purpose as well, and face it, you not only look like a door mat, you feel like one too.
The take from? Leave a little bit of you, for you. I once read something that went along the lines of “you can’t postpone sorrow, so why do we choose to postpone your happiness?” Today I hope for you that every time you say to yourself “I am important and busy caring for these people who need me,” a little voice in your heart remembers that quote and you stop and just breathe. As a total aside, and of none less importance, the man nicknamed the “Sultan of Suave,” Oscar De La Renta has passed away. Though the only true reality in life is that we are born and that we die, I can’t help but smile at the thought of how well dressed heaven will be when he enters those gates.
Outfit:
Dress: Leezu!, Cala **NEW**
Necklace: Zibska, Reina **NEW**
Hat: Miamai, MiaMadonna Chloe for TFC **NEW**
Skin: October’s 4 Seasons, Angelina **NEW**
Eye Makeup: October’s 4 Seasons, Eclectic **NEW**
Hair: Paperbag, Twigs Hairbase for The Cosmetics Fair **NEW**
Nails: Zibska, Tidbits for the Candy Fair **NEW**
The Unchangeables:
Hands: Slink
Ears: [Mandala]
Pose: Del May
Such wise words today lil Moo. I need to heed them myself. I spend so much of myself giving that there seems to be little else left, I onpen my eyes one day and am like damn where did all the time go. I don’t need much though, maybe just a minute or 10 once in a while. Love the look today, Bids farewell to Oscar, and did I miss a post…gotta finish telling me about that weekend.Don’t leave a girl hangin ❤ ❤ ❤
I will, I promise! Work is Keeling me Spirit! Love you!
awwwww’s
I agree with Spirit.. wise words.
Thank you 🙂
This is excellent advice for caregivers, especially those who think they need to carry it all alone! Good post!!
thank Rob! I really appreciate the encouragement :))