Far Behind

Someone will walk into your life one day and you will finally understand why the relationships in your past never worked out. ~Nishan Panwar


I’ve been a little more “distant” lately here on the blog, and actually a little quieter than usual (yeah, can you believe it?). I’ve had to do a little thinking, you see, someone tried to work his way back into my life. Whoosh, on a love scale of one to 10, I’d have given this guy an 11. He called me out of the blue. At my work, you know that place? The one place I can’t avoid him without quitting and finding a new phone to park my desk at. Don’t get me wrong, a call from his isn’t that major. Well it actually is, kind of. This is a person I envisioned a “happily ever after” with. Can you see why I’ve been so conflicted? But as I re-worked through the pain of the relationship I saw it in a different light. And sure, there were some good times, lots actually. But along the way in our conversations (he called several days in a row) as he insinuated he was a better and changed person, through smatterings of things he would say, I would get little glimpses of the bad still there. I finally got it, you know that epiphany moment when your endorphins supercharge, your heart speeds and your brain goes “AHA!” Yeah, it hit me, he hadn’t changed at all, not really, he was still the same problem he was back them. The difference was me, I’d changed, I’d grown up, somewhere along the way I learned that in a relationship, for my half of the equation anyway, the person I had to please the most was myself and love doesn’t hurt. I don’t know what selfishness motivated him to reappear, and I realize the saying is “all’s fair in love and war” but serious, all’s fair doesn’t mean all is right. When a person has moved on, found someone else, quit trying to manipulate them into slogging back. Anyway, random thoughts thrown out there, has this ever happened to you?  As for me? I still got my guy, the real guy. Life is good.

Bikini top: !Aphorism!, Monaco Bikini top
Shorts: NYU, Jumper Shorts *NEW* @FaMeshed
Hair: .olive., The Darling Girl @Tag-gacha
Jewelry: [Mandala], Lustful @The Men’s Dept
Skin: Glam Affair, Katra
Hands/Feet: SLink
Body: Maitreya, Lara
Pose: Vestige, Emily @2015 Pose Fair

Ear Wax

6 thoughts on “Far Behind

  1. Cheers to you Cao! It’s it wonderful that we have the ability to learn from our mistakes. Maybe this imposter popped up it’s ugly self to you could hold it up to the genuine article and admire the splendid difference? Now you can place that one back in reject pile and know you made a good choice.

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