I Thought I was in Love With an Inanimate Object But then I Killed it.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. ~ Emo Philips

I Thought I was in Love With an Inanimate Object But then I Killed it.

Okay, I admit it, I am a bit, actually a huge tech nerd. I can’t help it, I’ve been around them my entire life. It’s one of the reasons I make myself disconnect so often, if I didn’t I’d probably figure out a way to crawl in and never come out. These days I am online just long enough to keep my stocks in Yahoo, Twitter, Microsoft and Apple healthy, but I suppose that’s neither here nor there to this story. A few of my closest friends know I’ve been doing that 21 Day The Hormone Reset Diet” by Dr. Sara Gottfried. It’s not been too terribly bad and I do feel the diet has helped my post surgical hormone imbalance quite a bit. It involves things like giving up caffeine, Dairy (do you know how difficult it is for a Cao to give up ice cream?), grains, fruit, sugar.. yeah at this point I am pretty much gnawing on the furniture. I’m teasing, it’s not quite that bad. Not quite. But I digressed a little bit. I always like to have an advantage in any situation I involve myself with (aka I like to win, even if its against myself), which usually means I find an App, or a gadget for that. Knowing I had slacked off a bit since Christmas with my regular walking regime, I purchased one of those “Fitbits” and vowed to do a minimum of 10,000 steps a day.

Me and my Fitbit, Cao and “the One”, love forever. I mean seriously, who wouldn’t fall in love with something that says “Love Ya” in the morning when you first wake up? First time I read it I blushed and thought “but we hardly know each other.” But “The One” was right, it was love. Heck I wore it religiously nestled softly in the cleavage of my bra, taking it off only when I slept. I wrassled with it several times a day just to be so proud at how far I’d travelled that day. I began taking the stairs several times a day at work even though my office is on the first floor. Cao and “the One,” the perfect love affair. But then, like most love interests, it happened, it let me down. Why oh why does everything we love have to let us down? I was so proud of myself because this morning I walked up the stairs, but so excited to brag about my skill to, um, well, to me, when I climbed back down, I turned around and jogged back up and down again.. I stood there in the stairwell, huffing and puffing, doubled over, and digging around in my bra, I turned on the magical counter.. It miscounted the flights of stairs I took. Let me re-phrase, IT MISCOUNTED THE FLIGHTS OF STAIRS I TOOK!!! I could use a little righteous indignation about now. dejected and heartbroken, I wrassled “the One” out from betwixt my bra, cried a tear or two, walked 1,546 steps over to the Lake by my work burned 13 calories, then I wound up for the pitch and hurled my love “the one” into the lake. I mean, you can miscount my calories, fall short on a step or two, but nobody, I mean nobody, miscounts the flight of stairs I’ve just taken. ever. Just a little bit about my day, I hope yours is stepping up the way you want it to. hmm I wonder if anyone has that Garmin Vivofit on sale?

Hair: Truth, Bexley
Outfit: Purple Moon, Vivien
Jewelry: [Mandala], Prophecy
Hat/Glasses: Celoe, Straw Tote/ Four Corner’s Readers
Pose: Manifeste

Ear Worm:

13 thoughts on “I Thought I was in Love With an Inanimate Object But then I Killed it.

  1. Now that I have picked myself up off the floor after falling out of my chair in laughter, I have a vision of you yearning for your lost love tomorrow and hiking up your skirt, wading barefoot into the lake to locate which fish is wearing your fitbit counting his fin flicks.

    1. hehehe I may miss it, but there is no way I am wading with dem gators out there. One of them may take a fancy to a side of beef! And where is your righteous indignation!! It’s expected of you!!! Do you think I am high maintenance???

      1. Oopsie..let me try this again….

        How DARE that silly piece of technology fail to recognize such valiant effort of stair climbing on your part. As for me, I think you gave it what it deserved…an unceremonious burial in an unmarked, deep, murky, and watery grave!!


  2. Funny post, although when you callously threw FitBit away like that after one mistake I was shocked. Everyone has their off days! Anyway if you like falling in love with Articial Intelligence (and who doesn’t) I can highly recommend the brilliant film ‘Her’. That’s if you haven’t already seen it ….it may change your mind about throwing out your next AI love ❤

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