Dark Dusty Corners

Dark Dusty Corners

Every once in a while, when I am very introspective, I dig through the clutter of my soul, poking around in those dark dusty corners. I bring out cherished memories, either write about them or simply dust them off and tuck them lovingly back in for another day. Others I bring out and inspect, making sure they keep a little bit of the dust, because some memories are more calming with a fine layer of dust insulating them from the pain they cause us. Someone inworld has recently reminded me of one of these dusted memories, so last night I brought it out to see if it wore itself on me as it did so many years ago. I had an SL grand passion once, so very long ago. My first avatar that is. It is strangely amazing and moving when you feel a connection to a person virtually, even though the only touch is the companionship of two souls cosmically through cyberspace. We held each other closely in our dreams and shared much of our real lives with one another, well, as shared as can be virtually. If a little Cao could love, this was as close to it as she could come. The years wore away the bright shiny package but the incredible thing is we loved and accepted even those things we would normally call “warts” in another human being.

Dark Dusty Corners

But being adults and prone to making adult decisions, there were things of his life he could not change, and of course, things of mine I was unwilling to change and we parted ways friendly. Not wishing to prolong pain, he left Second Life, I deleted my avatar and created this one. Was it real? Well, 5 years of Second Life later, this avatar is still a virgin who isolates herself from forming close relationships. Honestly though, was it real? I would have to say I love aspects of him but in virtuality there is so much that is hidden from reality. I wouldn’t even know if he would pass the spork test ( http://anchailinalainn.com/2013/04/05/basically-undateable/) and to me that’s major. So who really knows, but it’s good to take this memory out every once in a while and feel the emotions I felt so long ago, the two years added color to my personality, an aged patina of maturity it may have taken years to grow.

Take from? Well of course! And maybe not what you think. When I brought this memory out it made me think of something he did bring to me and quite often and that’s one of the secrets of all great love affairs. Loving someone doesn’t take money, or even really a whole lot of time, for that matter. You can tell when a person truly loves you when their one and only greatest wish is to do something, anything, just to put a smile on your face. When is the last time your significant other went out of the way to bring you a smile. It’s such a small gesture, don’t you deserve it?

Dress and Hat: Lelutka, Guile
Leggins: Maitreya, Couture Leggings
Hairs: Tuty’s, Bob

*It Stops Here

It can’t really be that much a surprise to those close to me who really know me. I’ve always spouted I am a drama free zone. The outpouring of support and kind words has been amazing, for this I really thank you! But as a person with a degree in marketing, I can’t find it in my heart to “trash” a designer for being, well who he is. I can’t do a thing about his upbringing or in the least finding solutions to problems. (i.e. since I told him I was trying to help, perhaps he should have found someone to interpret (google translate maybe?) exactly what I was saying? But that said, I have told only two people the name of the designer and these are my closest of closest confidents and I will tell no others.

*It Stops Here

But I want to tell the story anyway. Just in case “The Designer” has been saying things about ME. The other day I blogged a place called GOL. And was wearing the below outfit. I mentioned it wasn’t done. Well it wasn’t, I’d just started. I was going to create a sort of modern Asian fusion. I sware, this is why you should never deviate from your norm, you end up in places you should never be. I was inworld for a rare Friday evening and opened a NC sent in groups from The Designer. I was so excited about the pants working in this Asian Fusion outfit I rushed right over. I want to make a note to designers here, if you use the vendors where you click the vendor, pick the corresponding number to the style you want and then pay, perhaps it would behoove you to photoshop the name of the color on each pant to delete confusion. But I digress, I wanted the “apple” style (name made up of course) did the steps purchased apple, had an apple shopping box, opened it and inside was “orange.” Okay, I need these pants now, I want to blog the Asian fusion on Saturday.. I went back and purchased the “orange.” And lo and behold, in the orange bag is the apple pant. So thinking I was being helpful I sent a NC explaining to the designer he may have a mistake with his items. He fell off the charts first accusing me being an idiot not knowing how to use a vendor correctly and then a “copybotter” huh? To be honest, I am still not sure what that is, but I think it’s someone who steals other peoples designs. Wouldn’t I have to have a purpose to steal, especially since I (1) have no clue how to make anything and (2) would it even be copybotting when the designer used a premade mesh sculpt and put a pattern on it? Couldn’t I have just paid 350 myself for the sculpt and put my own pattern on it? No, don’t even wonder about it, I stand by number 1.

GOL The Next GenerationYep, I broke model rule number one, I went into public half styled.. shhhh don’t tell Frolic! Outfit credits coming soon!Pose: Del May

So realizing there is a language barrier, I go inworld and take a snap of the pant and naming it “this is orange” (while wearing the what looked like an apple pant) and vice versa. I mean surely a photo is a universal language, right? After over an hour of stress, being banned and muted and not allowed to grace the designers presence to hear why exactly he has taken this turn against me, I logged off and went to the party. To find THIS in my inbox:

“will talk with education or going to treat me with contempt, or been a misunderstanding” (Again, really? What exactly have I said about him by name?)

“So you say you’ve had a bad customer care According To You, I have tried to understand your problem, but I’ve seen arrogance so I did not like, if it was your attitude That Should Have Told I have wanted to show me another way Because I have not gone very well understand what I wanted to say with pants … I ALWAYS I treat my customers ALWAYS very good! always Come With education and good manners and not pushy.
Whenever I See That attitude of course.” (remember, I wrote him a NC only trying to help. I not once asked for a refund, or anything. I sent him a NC and the pics trying to help him with further confusing sales. Yet I am the one with bad attitude? I didn’t even get angry until he muted me, banned me and said he was going to report me to Linden Labs as a copybotter *head desk*)

Take from? Well yes, Marketing 101, “Understanding the Voice of the Customer.” Any successful business, even a Second Life® business, if you want to be successful for the long haul, get over your ego every once in a while and realize most misunderstandings are easily fixable if you clarify exactly what the customer wants. As I said, I used the words “I wanted to help” and not once said “I want a refund.” How can you misunderstand that? If you know a smattering of English you should at least have heard the words help and refund, they seem to be commonly used inworld. But most important, always remember, this is a virtual world, not the real world. Very few people, if any, get rich. But what we do have is our reputations. Mine is right up here almost every single day and I pride myself on always being professional with others, (except in matters of the heart and family, of course). So before you verbally terrorize, harass and ban a fellow resident, I’d think I’d at least try to understand where they are coming from. It’s not as if all of my links are hidden in my profile, they are right there for you to check. I mean really, no excuse. Well not for boorish behavior, the language barrier, I’m sorry we had that, I honestly am. /me whistles as she walks away..

Garden Party

Garden Party

I am going to a party today, it’s going to be fun. When I saw this dress on Giz Seorn of Gizza’s flickr the other day, I knew, it’s ME! See Dragon? Even your boss makes Cao friendly knicker outfits! Love, love, Love! It even comes with a matching pearl necklace but I was aching to wear this vintage jewelry from Donna Flora today. I always run to classic pieces my mama would own when I am upset. And today I am very upset. I tried to help a designer with something I thought was confusing advertising and he muted me AND banned me from his store. For trying to help. With items I PURCHASED to blog.. *head desk* Well the jury is still out on whether I will blog about the incident tomorrow. I’ll wear this anger for a little bit and see where it settles, I am not one for drama, but sometimes, people shouldn’t be allowed to treat others this unkindly. Did I say I was trying to help? Well you get the picture.

Garden Party

My dragon besty, Draakje Daily and my dear model friend Sothis Sirius talked me down from the ledge, but tomorrow. If you want to know who the designer is, it may be written here. After all, I purchase most of my items and have always considered my self the blogger of the consumer. I’m just not sure if I will. Yet. As a business person this one is going to take some serious considering. Have a gorgeous Saturday! I hope you all have your own parties to attend!

Garden Party

Outfit One:
Dress: Gizza, Romantic Rendez-vous **NEW**
Gloves: Mimikri
Necklace: Donna Flora, Vivian
Earrings: Donna Flora, Brenda
Ring: Donna Flora, Vito
Hairs: Boon, KBO906
Shoos: [Gos], Mae Platform
Poses: Del May and Manifeste

Waiting to Exhale

Waiting to Exhale This gorgeous gown is a new offering from Leezu! called Tatum. Scrumptiously romantic

Do you ever get the feeling that something really big is about to happen in your life but you don’t know what it is? It’s just this feeling in the pit of your stomach. I’ve had that feeling all day. I don’t know if “it” is something good or bad, I just feel something bigger than me looming on the horizon. My mama always tells me not to borrow worry. But I can’t help it, I’ve always been a quiet harbinger of nuances of all things surrounding me. I think thats what happens on occasion when you are a watcher and a thinker. You get so much up into your own head that you know intuitively you are on a precipice and about to either fall or fly.

Waiting to Exhale It’s not often I am led to leave my platform in the sky, I am so shy these days. When I saw this house on my new friend Apple Fall’s flickr ( http://www.flickr.com/photos/80288053@N02/ ) I just had to go look. His work is divine. It really made me ache to put roots back on the ground in Second Life. Maybe one day I’ll be brave enough.

Take from? Well, sort of. On those days you worry so much, don’t focus on yourself, focus elsewhere, because whatever is about to happen is going to whether we want it to or not. With that thought in mind, I think I’ll stay in tonight, sit on the balcony with a glass of wine and a book. The moons been huge and will be full tomorrow which brings the sound of the ocean to a magnificent crescendo, so while I listen to the ocean serenading me, I think I’ll buckle myself in and prepare for the toss. I’ll let you know if I fall or if I fly. If you get a chance, check out Leezu! she has tons of new items in lately and don’t forget my new friend Apple Fall, he has everything you need to make your Second house a real home. Heck, as you can see, he even has the house.

Leezu!: Taxi:
Apple Fall: Taxi:

GOL The Next Generation

GOL The Next GenerationYep, I broke model rule number one, I went into public half styled.. shhhh don’t tell Frolic! Outfit credits coming soon!Pose: Del May

One thing sure stands true in Second Life™, very few things stand still. How many times have you teleported with one of your landmarks and your destination is gone? It happens to me quite a bit, especially when the economy tanked. Just goes to show, virtual worlds aren’t really insulated from the economics of the real world. I don’t get around much anymore, being retired I am more out of world than inworld these days. Especially with the job being cranked right now and the new “boyfriend.” But I can still reminisce about the days when I first started Second Life™, I loved clubbing, listening to music, laughing with friends. Ah the good old days. One of my fave haunts was GOL, known not only for its hard driving, pulse thumping music, but also for its state of the art virtual architecture. If you were looking for a crowd of people, GOL was your destination. For newer residents who have never experienced a fun loving crowd, today is your lucky day! For the rest of us, well, we’ll just go because we love the madding crowd, the music, and a good party.

GOL The Next Generation

COMING MAY 24th 10am slt , a new chapter in the GOL history, from the Original Founder, Creator and Owner Dakota Neumann. The famed GOL club series will christen it’s newest member, The 9th on Friday, May 24, 2013. Dakota Neumann, the creator and founder of GOL is proud to share his latest creation with the world. Since June of 2006, GOL has been the long established KING of the music scene in Second Life. We’ve all enjoyed hanging out with friends and letting the tuneage from the best DJs around the world move our bodies.

Keeping the T R A D I T I O N alive! Join us as we christen the newest addition to our GOL family… Limo to the Show:

GOL The Next Generation

Coconut Bras and other Kitsch

Coconut Bras and other Kitsch

Two of the many things that make Florida the unique place it is, are tropical music and kitsch. You don’t see kitsch as much as you used to now that most people spend their money on T-shirts instead of the old florida inscribed souvenirs. Heck most people come here to see the House of the Mouse, not buy coconuts carved like monkey’s heads or seashells glued together to form animals. I guess even that guy lost his job when the economy tanked. I always kind of liked the coconut bra myself, they weren’t too comfy but boy nothing says “native” quite like that. My quirkiness in mind, you can imagine how surprised and thrilled I was when I found, like so many other pieces of Florida Americana trinkets, I just officially became a souvenir!

Coconut Bras and other Kitsch

I thought I was pretty close to this iconic state when someone came out with the “cow chair” a few years ago, but I was disappointed when my dragon Draakje Daily told me it wasn’t specifically made for me. But this, this is ME! Recently Miss Virtual World Modeling Academy started handing out these wonderful “goody bags” with all sorts of cool information and gifty’s in them. As you know, any good model worth her weightless-ness in salt spends hours on a pose stand making sure all of her prims are adjusted and positioned to the nth position in case someone decides to perv them to check their measure as a model. So to make this “task” a little more fulfilling and enjoyable, MVWMA included a multiposition pose stand in the kit. But not just that! If you receive one of these “limited” items, the picture on the stand is…. wait for it…. ME! You get to stand on me! I can’t imagine how many times any one of you have been editing your prims and swearing and thinking, “This %$#*$^ would be perfect if I could just stand on Cao for a little while.” Well, lucky soon to be models and training to be models? You too can stand on a Cao for a little luck! (Who wouldn’t want a little luck of the Irish?) Heck, I bet my friend Peep takes the class just to get the stand. We’ve already had the debate which is better, bacon or a side of Cao in the morning. 😉

mvwma Cao

Take from? Would you like it any other way? Of course! All kidding aside, it is truly an honor for anyone to be recognized, no matter what they are doing. So thank you Frolic, BlackBarbie Bravin and all of you at MVWMA. I learned so much when I was there and I just adore you all! Thank you Natzuka Miliandrovic for taking the awesome picture, and Mila Tatham for making the outfit, because the thing to remember is, no person is an island, those who by some luck “get ahead,” well its doubtful you got there alone. So never think these awards are yours alone, they are for every single person who took the time to help you up along the way. The ones who let you “step on them” a little bit. They are the true winners. Just something to think about as we slide into the weekend.

As an aside, I am not a blogger for World Gothic Fair, so I don’t know too much about it, but I went nosing about a couple of days ago and picked up a few things to blog. World Goth Fair is an annual Second Life event, officially sanctioned by the folks at World Goth Day to benefit the Sophie Lancaster Foundation. Let’s work together to make some good come from the senseless death of Sophie Lancaster. Let’s focus on creating respect for and understanding of subcultures in our communities.

SIMShttp://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Cursed/73/127/1003 – WGF Cursed
http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Port%20Seraphine/128/156/504 – WGF Port Seraphine

Hair: VCD, Hairbase style 2
Hat: LWL, Faint! Alejandro
Shirt: Tee*fy, Mini Corset
Jacket: Lassitude and Ennui, Gothic Doll Jacket **World Gothic Fair**
Collar: Lassitude and Ennui, Viola Lace Collar
Corset: :{MV}: Jareth Binding Corset **World Gothic Fair**
Skirt: Boudoir, Gothic Lolita Skirt **World Gothic Fair**
Leggins: Ison, Lace Applique leggings
Boots: Ison, Levander
Makeup: Zibska, Saskia
Pose: Manifeste

Girls Gone Older

Girls Gone Old
Yeah, yeah I know. At some point, me and my besty girls probably became too old for “Girls Gone Wild.” Probably right around the time we graduated from college, though personally for me, I never got around to going wild. It’s not tiger momma approved, I still have that “good girls marry doctors” mantra tattoo-ed to my brain. But some of these girlfriends? Yikes! Kinda funny how I’m the only one whose never been married, yet. But it’s okay, I kinda like the person I live with.. me. I still love girls night out, we try to at least once a week or once every other week. Its been said by experts that good friendships literally make you healthier by increasing your life span, boosting your immune system, and making you feel generally happier as a whole. Hear that mom? Being out with the girls doesn’t make you a lesbian it makes you an old maid. So there!

Girls Gone Older

We really have fun, no matter what we do. So I’ve decided today to throw my five fave “girls nights out” here. And yes, sorry, it seems for the best nights out, alcohol was involved. We do not drink and drive though, we always have a husband or boyfriend deliver us home after the evening is done or crash where we are. I have to admit, as I look at them now and blush, when women get married, their tastes in “girls nights out” become a bit more, well, more. Please let me know what you do to enjoy time with your girlfriends, I’d love to know!

1. Just Dance Shots on the Wii. It’s just as fun as going out dancing but we don’t have to spend hours getting “made up.” The kicker, if you miss a step, time to take a shot. Personally I don’t mind having to take the shot, I dance better when I’m drinking. 😉

2. Pole Dancing lessons. I know I don’t get it either. I guess if you are married, you learn to pole dance so your husband puts dollars in your thong instead of someone elses. But really it’s a ton of exercise and I look at it this way, I am either preparing for the day when I too am married or if I lose my job, I’m already trained for another.

3. Fake Bachelorette Party. We do this once a year if we can, its loads of fun. We grab a bunch of penis paraphernalia and a paper veil and take turns being the bachelorette living up our “last night of freedom” at our favorite bars. You’d be amazed how many free drinks you get, from men and women. But it does require a designated driver for the evening.

4. Wine Tasting Party. This is another fun one. Every one brings their fave bottle of wine wrapped in paper and the hostess includes a few extra bottles, including one “skunk of the month.” (A bottle you are unsure whether it will be fit for human consumption). We then smell and taste each wine, putting comments about them on a notepad. It’s funny how crazy the comments are the further into the tasting you become, especially when we try to figure out which one is the skunk one.

5. Sex Toy Party. I have this one friend (I think every one does). She is a stay at home mom but wants to make money on the side. Over the years, she’s sold Avon, Tupperware, Southern Living Home Collection, Pampered Chef. Well you get it, those home parties where you get your closest friends tipsy enough that they will spend anything on you just to get the sales pitch over with? Her latest venture was a Sex Toy party. Well honestly, I am repressed enough that when I buy sex toys, I have to buy them while wearing sunglasses perusing the Internet on one of “those” websites. But well, she’s a besty, I’ll do anything for her. So three drinks in, which is probably about the time I begin to list a little, this thing called a “rabbit” comes hopping across the floor at me, unable to get up in my current state, the last thing I remember was feeling a little faint. It took me forever to get her to take that pic off her Facebook page before my momma saw it..

Take from? Of course! Life may move on and we may grow up, but don’t ever allow yourselves to grow apart. Friends are the people who not only support you, they travel along with you. So laugh and love with your new family and your “old” family all blended as one. As an aside, this is the lovely dress from Kyra Camel of Baboom that I mentioned in yesterday’s blog, and the hairs a heart friend Chiaki Xue of Dura’s latest release, Dura girl47.

Dress: Baboom, May Mesh Gown **New** Taxi:
Hairs: Dura, Girl 47 **New** Taxi:
Makeup: Mons ❤
Jewelry: Indy & Co, Suha Stones
Ladder/tree: What Next, Falling Wall
Chair: DIGS, Morris Chair **New**
Books: Patron, Silk Bedside Pillow book

Knock Knock Knocking on Heavens Door

Caoimhe~Runaway Bride

I had a completely different blog planned for today. I hope Kyra Camel of Baboom will forgive me one more day. I fell in love with one of her dresses a few weeks ago and she so kindly gave it to me, so as a friend, today I am sucking on empty. I can’t help it. At times the words and thoughts in my head create a deep dark moodiness that I have a difficult time rising above. And it seems all I can do is write to get them pushed away from me. Remember? You can’t cure crazy. So if you don’t like dark, perhaps today’s blog isn’t a good bet for you and I don’t blame you for leaving. Yesterday, a 200 mile per hour 2 mile wide tornado wiped out an entire city and more specifically (to me) 2 schools, such catastrophes always makes me wonder if there even is a God.

A Doll's girl grows up and moves away.

Don’t get me wrong, I know there is a grand plan to the universe, with or without a deity. Also I know, tragic circumstances will occur, and they have some meaning or purpose. We are humans, so we will always suffer, because we are tied to “earthly things.” But it just goes to prove, the more we lessen our desire to possess others or control our fate the less we suffer (at the hands of fate). Happiness is achieved by a detachment from that which is earthly. Those who choose to live moment to moment, and love in a detached and non-possessive manner minimize the tragedies they face. Rather than constantly struggling to get what you want, try to modify your wanting. Wanting deprives us of contentment and happiness. Cold? Yes, perhaps it is a little. Is this pessimistic, or realistic? Well that’s for you to decide. After all, in the end, life is a solitary journey, don’t you want it to be defined by you?


But honestly, how in the world could this tragedy make me a better person? Perhaps if I am more open to noticing how life’s course may have changed in a positive direction, or just allowing my mind to question the purpose of the tragedy in its aftermath, well that may be the best I can do, especially at first. The statement that hindsight is 20/20 seems to be the first step to be applied to attempting to construct meaning from horrible circumstances. As life continues, your hindsight allows you to find your own patterns and realize that even though these circumstances were never what you wanted, or could even have controlled, they still may have positive consequences. If it is not so right now, at least possibly it can be in the future.


Take from? Actually no, not really. I’m just trying to make sense in my own head a terrible tragedy. Do I feel better? Naw, not a single bit, other than I got all this pollution of words out of my head. I just hope I can make something positive grow from this negative event. Even if its just to change my own outlook a little. To remind myself to carry softly those I love, to always be gentle with those I do not love because everyone’s life leaves footprints on the hearts of others. It’s up to us whether our footprints will be seen as a blessing or a curse. Just a little high-gravity today, probably not worth the time it took to read it. But don’t worry, the Second Life Cao will be back tomorrow. I promise.

You and Tequila

You and Tequila

Short blog today! Playing a get caught up Monday! Yikes! So I just decided to enact an “extend-a-weekend” program for the day. So today is still officially Sunday for me. I’ll start my high gravity Monday tomorrow. But who can blame me anyway? Did you see the new Tee’s and bikini’s from Drift? LOVE em! I wish Kallisto Destiny would send me some for my real life. Kalli? And just for us, the outfits color change, so there is a color perfect for every occasion. Nothing says summer quite as nicely as a low maintenance, cool hair cut. This hairs from Chiaki Xue of Dura, is a perfect no fuss adorable look for even the hottest of days, so don’t miss out! Between the two of them they will have your summer kicked in perfectly. Now if I can just figure out where I put the tequila and lime.

You and Tequila

But, don’t take my word for it, follow the links and check them out yourself!

Dura: Taxi:
Drift: Taxi:

05192013 drift a

Hairs: Dura, girl16
Bikini: Drift, Tini Kini Plaid **New**
T-shirt: Drift, Sunday tee **new**
Glasses: Redgrave, Holly
Earring/ Bracelet: Mandala, Senjyu and Sitennoah
Bag: Ison, Scout Boho
Poses: Behavior Body, Handbag